Terrorist Demands

So Eli has found my weakness.

Now to be clear, I have many weaknesses: peanutbutter, jackie chan movies, paintball, and of course rice crispie treats. If I get any of those items, I will do about anything I am asked (don't tell Bridget.)

I am trying to be a good dad and teach my kids to be polite, play nice, eat healthy, and bath semi regularly. Eli however has found one of my new weaknesses. He can get whatever he wants. He has learned that if he hits the right octave in right decibel, I turn to putty and cave.

He has me hostage, and I give into his terrorism.

When he screams, he gets what he wants. It typically goes something like this:

ME: Eli, dont eat mama's Plant

ELI: AARRCCCHHHAAAAAAAEEERRRCCCHHH

ME: ok go ahead, I guess it is more fiber.

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ME: Eli, Please get off the kitchen table, it isn't safe.

ELI: AAAARRCCEEHHHEEEACCCCHHHRRREE WHHAAAA

ME: I guess the table can support your weight

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ME: Eli, please stop eating that toothpaste

ELI: MMMMEEEEEE AAAAARRR CCCHHHEEEAAAA

ME: at least your breath will smell good.

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ME: Do you want some breakfast

ELI: wah (yes)

ME: do you want nummy nummy eggs and toast like dada?

ELI: Ma (either no or more, I am not sure, definately not a yes)

ME: Here is your Bottle, here are your eggs.

ELI: ADDFSEVAAAACCCRRRRRCCCCCCHHHHEEEAAAA NNNNAAAA NA NA NA NA, MA MA MA MA

(as far as I can tell he wants aunt emma or mama or anyone but dada to come feed him breakfast)

ME: I am gonna go take two excedrin and get your mom.

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I do not have the personal restraint to not cave in and I need help: I have already gone through more excedrin, motrin, and tylenol than my liver or kidneys can handle.

At least he takes good pictures