So Bridget is awesome. She got me Karate lessons for Christmas last year.
Now, I love Jackie Chan movies. I loved Mr. Miyagi from the karate kid (though have not watched it in 2 decades). I love watching snippets of Bruce Lee, if there is an action or martial arts film my eyes are glued. And now that I am 32, I am feeling that I need to get my body in shape if I am ever going to be able to defend the defenseless or be sent on special missions to free some form of helpless captive. And, if I am ever going to be ready, I need to start now, so karate seems to be a logical first step.
While in class listening to my sensai I had the following thoughts, which I have decided to share with you.
I love karate, I'm learning how and where to punch to hurt someone without hurting myself. I am also learning the basics of form, how to kick and be more flexible.
One of our exercises is to grab some one's clothes then lift my leg in between us and kick them. Imagine if you can: I am 6'3" and have a femur length of about 2 feet. My arms at full extension are 2'3" from shoulder to closed fist. I can't even touch my toes without help or bending my knees, and even then it hurts. So it is impossible for me to place my foot on some one's chest, while holding their shirt, without dislocating my own hip or knee. So, when I get in my first fight, I guess I am just going to ask my opponent to hold still while I work my foot up to his chest.
Envisioning the ridiculousness of going into a fight and asking my opponent to hold still so I can kick them, I also realize that I have never even been in a fight (siblings don't count), I have never hit anyone under pressure. Somehow I have made it this far, I am probably going to be OK: my tactic of turning tail and running away seems to be working well.
These revelations and visions happen while I am dressed in my Gi, surrounded in the dojo by a bunch of black belts my age and 13 year-olds that seem way more advanced than the white belt we share.
Which brings me to my final thought: I also look around at the 13 year old next to me who could probably kick my butt, literally and figuratively, and realize maybe a 32 year old in Karate isn't as cool as I thought it would be.
Maybe if I learn how to use nun chucks?
My girls in their sailboat dresses
8 years ago
Oh ho, THIS was funny. I loved picturing it. I loved your description of it.
ReplyDeleteI will hold still if we ever get in a fight until you can get your leg up, I think that is what good aunts are supposed to do.
Aunt Rachel's boys are colorful belts (can't remember their colors) in Taikwondo (can't spell it either). I enjoyed going to their practices a few times with them.
hahaha. I think you already have a deadly weapon you can use. It's called your breath. And your gas. hahaha.
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