What to expect when you're expecting

There is a book entitled "what to expect when you're expecting." It details, fairly inclusively, what to expect as a pregnant mother, but not that helpful for the fathers. There are several books out there that describing the first year of your baby's life. I skimmed these books and paid attention in Med school. Let me tell you something. These books don't even come close to covering what Eli has put us through. Again, I have compiled a list of things that I never expected.

1. Poop. I have changed lots of diapers and deal with diarhea daily at work, while I'm not a fan of it, but it doesn't bother me to change a poopy. However, I had no clue how exposive it would be! There really is no way to prepare for changing bed sheets, and bathing kiddos, because the explosion reaches the back of their neck. And now your whole house smells too.

2. Loss of privacy. Everything is now a "team effort." Want to go to the store, you take a kid. Want to go for a run, you take a kid. Want to read a book, it better have pictures because Eli will want to read too. Want to make toast (see previous entry), better plan on having someone help. Want to go to the bathroom, better leave the door open or Eli will scream and think you are doing something fun without him.

3. Loud noises. I expected to hear crying, whining, yelling, shouting, screaching, grunting, pouting, begging, and nagging. What I did not expect is the decibel and octave accompyning the aforementioned sounds. These are mind numbing and migraine inducing (how is it possible to have a numb mind and a migraine at the same time? Come hang out here.)

4. Energy. I spent 2 hours tonight playing with Eli, tickeling, lifting, bouncing, chasing, being chased, being tickled, eating, feeding and being fed. I am beat, and all I did was wind him up. I wish I had that energy! Give me some of whatever he is on!

5. Guilt. As troubling as Eli can be, I feel bad when I don't spend more time with him. I have work to do, work to go to, church meetings, scripture study, workout... whatever I am doing I feel guilty for not spending more time playing (or having the energy to play) with Eli. Then, I feel guilt for not having worked harder at whatever it was I put aside.

6. Sticky. I don't think any book in the world will prepare you for how sticky your stuff can get. I recently opened the fridge, sticky. Opened the garage door, sticky. Computer keyboard and mouse, sticky. Arm chair, sticky. TOILET SEAT, sticky. Flashlight, sticky. DVD player, TV, Remote, Couch and coffee table, all sticky. WHERE is he getting this goup? And how did he get it on the inside of my jacket?

7. Leaves. Fall just came this week and the leaves are starting to fall. Eli Loves kicking them, playing with them, and of course bringing them in the house.

8. Robins and other birds feed their young by prechewing food. I am a parent so should be prechewing food, unfortunately, I am the recipient. What else are you supposed to do with the crackers, granola bars, or fruit snacks that get spit into your hand during church?

Counting

Eli is learning to count! We are so proud of him. Ask him how many ducks, fingers, treats, toast, eggs, etc... and as long as the answer is one or two he will have it.

In fact just this morning I saw him counting a whole pile of fruit loops. He said "one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, one, two, ONE!!!"

He was so proud that there was only "one" fruit loop.

Guess we have some work to do.

My little Explorer

Isadora learned to crawl this week. AND Crawl she does! My routine when watching her has drastically changed. I used to put a bunch of toys in front of her and let her decide which one goes in her mouth, and in what order (as they all made thier way into her mouth.)

Well, now she crawls and so the number of potential mouth items has increased. I guess we need to do a better job of picking up after ourselves. Before I give the list of Items in her mouth, I thought I would tell a funny little story. I had placed Dora in the other room with a bunch of toys (before I knew how mobile she was). I then went into the neighboring room for something and got distracted. The next thing I heard was "blah blah pppffftttggtt bla" I looked over and Dora had crawled to the corner and was trying to get my attention. As I looked at her a HUGE smile came to her face. It made me feel good.

Anyway, here are a list of items I have recently pulled from her mouth
1. Eli's stuffed Rooster
2. A baby wipe (I hope clean!)
3. Part of Eli's dinner (a french fry)
4. A sketcher's tag from Bridget's shoe
5. Eli's shoes
6. Bridget's Sandals
7. The lid to a snack can
8. My spare stethoscope (never been used on a patient!)
9. her finger
10. her toe
11. My nerf blowgun
12. ...and when I wasn't paying attention, My Ear.

I love that little explorer and she has sharp teeth! I guess I need to start picking up after myself!

Toast anyone?

I am watching Eli today. And not doing a good job of it. I put dinner in the oven and then stepped over to check on Dora (and goof off on the internet)(magnum pi is now on Hulu!).

Anyway, I started to smell something burning! I checked the dinner to make sure I wasn't over cooking it... it was fine. I looked for spillage... it was fine. Thinking I had covered myself, I went to see what type of damage Eli could have done in the other room.

Then kaaching... The toast had finished.

I did not put bread in the toaster.

Neither had Eli...

He put in our kitchen sponge.

Our house now smells like someone tried smoking in the hospital bathroom (it happens, and when it does it does not smell good!)

Thanks for helping with dinner Eli.

War

Here is a list of battles I have lost recently:

1. Popcorn and Cold Cereal for dinner.

2. Letting Eli "make" the same piece of bread into toast, three times.

3. Allowing Eli to eat Dora's teething treats.

4. Letting him sit on the desk.

5. Letting him fall off the desk.

6. Letting him climb back on the desk.

7. Realizing that I had candy on the desk I did not know about and watching Eli eat it.

8. Tantrum for 46 minutes (I timed it) after I broke a piece off a pretzel for Eli and he wanted the WHOLE THING INTACT!

9. And this morning: Popsicles for breakfast.

Battles I have won:

1. Mandatory middle of day 3 hour naps.

2. Mandatory 7:30 Bedtime.

All in all I think I am winning.

Clean Car

Bridget asked me to go vaccum the car. It was something I have been meaning to do for some time. While cleaning things out I found a few items:
1. Chicken fingers. As far as I can tell the last time we had chicken tenders was 3 weeks ago. I guess Eli was saving some.
2. Ice scraper. It is starting to get cold and I am glad I don't have to go buy one, again, it seems like I buy one every season.
3. Bag of unopened M&Ms. Wahoo... I struck gold!
4. $4.63... not quite enough to pay for the vaccum. (yes there is that much crap)
5. Three Pairs of sunglasses.
6. Bunches and bunches of baby toys. It was like Christmas!
7. Used wipes and outsized/unused diapers.
8. an old bottle
9. Rasins... I remember giving him grapes but that was a while ago!
10. And underneath all that I found the carpet mat!

So clean now!

What was the treasure you discovered the last time you cleaned your car?

Something to think about

So I was looking at the calories in a can of soda and had a couple of thoughts:


Root beer 12 oz can: 150 calories


One mile run for 185lb male: 150 calories


So one can of soda is one mile run.

One soda/day for 365 is 150x365=54750 calories

9 calories per gram of fat= 9000 calories/kilogram of fat

54750 calories(one year of soda)/9000= 6kg or 13 lbs

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So if 1kg is 2.2lbs and also equal to 9000 calories.

And one mile is 150calories

One would have to run 60 miles to loose 2.2 pounds of fat calories!

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For the sake of simplification leaving out a soda perday and keeping all other things equal you would loose (or more approptiately, not gain) 13 lbs each year.

If you run 1 mile/day for a whole year (365x150) you would burn and loose 13lbs/year.

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These are simplifications and do not take into consideration basal metabolism. Increasing your basal metabolism by exercise increases your ability to burn fat by 10-30% (2000cal/day to 2200 or 2600cal/day)

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If you are 50lbs overweight (22kg) that equates to 1320 miles to walk to lose that weight. Or the distance from Nauvoo IL, to Salt Lake UT.

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Diet alone cannot lose the weight. Exercise alone cannot lose the weight, it has to be a combination of less in and more out.