Sympathy for Fat People

I went to the gym today and Ran close to 7 miles.

Yes I am bragging.

But, I wore the wrong shorts and my inner thighs rubbed together so much that I have two really sore areas that hurt REAL BAD. Now that I am a Fat person, I have sympathy and can understand why we stay fat!

If someone took a cheese grater and peeled off a layer of your thigh skin, you would not exercise either. Every move you make is just further punishment for hating your body.

They say to really know some one, walk a mile in their shoes.... Well I am here to say keep it to just one mile.

Breakfast of Champions

Bridget made this

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my fairy

Dora's new outfit

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They stole my idea

I went to Wal-Mart and saw that someone took my idea yet again.

You will notice it has the three major food groups: Bread, cheese, jerked beef.

I came up with this idea 2 years ago but instead of pretzels, I wanted it to be a cracker bread so you could have a spicy sandwich, or a tortilla for a jerkurritto.

This is 230 calories of perfection, the only way they could have made this better was to include a Pepcid!

My Next idea would be for marshmallows, chocolate, grahm crackers and a match all in the same box. You burn the box to cook the marshmallow. BAM---delicious

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Morning breath

So after working the night shift, I would like you to know that even staying up, you will still get morning breath.

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Baby ultrasound

It's a girl. Hand. Face.

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Questions

I have asked, or been asked, the following questions. And I don't know the answers.

1. Why are you wiping a Tortilla on the wall?

2. Who Put the diaper in the washer?

2b. Why did you put the diaper in the washer?

2c. Did it have poopies in it?

3. Why don't Wheaties come frosted?

4. What happened to my keys?

5. Why is there pink jam all over the floor in the Living room?

5b. When did we even have pink jam?

6. Is this powdered sugar? Dad What kind of white stuff is this? (referencing the remnants of the washed diaper in question 2.)

6b. Dada, why does this taste so bad?

7. Why am I out of Excedrin again?